This may not be what you were expecting to read in one of my posts.
I’m here to tell you that bad things happen to good people.
For example, you may never have smoked a cigarette in your life, and you can still get lung cancer. And by the way, the person who smokes five packs a day may never get lung cancer!
The truth is, life can kick you hard. And even when you’re down, it can kick you again. And it’s not a karmic thing, or a cause and effect thing; sometimes it just happens.
So here’s my suggestion: any day that the world isn’t kicking you, don’t kick yourself. Don’t look for reasons to feel bad. Don’t look for justification for why you’re angry with somebody. Don’t look for reasons to be upset at life. In these moments, you’re wasting an opportunity for a happy life.
You see, life can be like dodging bullets. Think about this: there are so many things that could’ve taken you off the planet already. Your father could have worn a condom during conception for example! Your mum could’ve had an illness that killed you in the womb. Even childbirth itself could’ve taken you out.
Think of all the near misses that could’ve taken you off the planet. How many car accidents have you seen on freeways that could’ve happened five minutes before you got there. You could’ve been involved.
So here you are today, and you’ve woken up to another day of life…congratulations! Now, what are you going to do with it? Are you going to make it the best it can be?
If you make this moment right now excellent, and then start taping all the excellent moments together, well pretty soon you’ve got an excellent hour, an excellent day, an excellent week, an excellent month, an excellent year…and an excellent life. And it’s all comes down to you controlling, the best you, can your experience in each moment.
Remember, it’s not about what happens, it’s about what are you going to do with what happens. Don’t look for reasons to feel bad, otherwise you’re just going to keep attracting things to you to feel bad about.
You might know my story about when I was an actor filming with Chuck Norris in Delta Force 2 back in 1989, and while filming I was involved in a helicopter crash where five of my great friends died. I was initially on the helicopter and for some reason when the chopper was hovering about two feet above the ground near the edge of a mountaintop, I realized I wasn’t in the being filmed by the cameraman anymore and I was just out of the shot. When I asked the cameraman if this was the case, he confirmed I wasn’t and that I could step off the chopper if I wanted. So I chose to step off. The chopper took off over the edge of the mountain top as planned, then had a mechanical malfunction, crashed to the ground and next thing I knew five of my friends died.
All of those guys that died were great guys. One of them was my best friend Mike, and he died in my arms. Another guy’s son had just turned two years old only two days before the helicopter crash. He wasn’t even there to see his son on his birthday because he was filming. It happens. He was a great man, a great father, a great husband. Sometimes life can kick you hard.
So any day that life’s not handing you something like that, don’t kick yourself. Don’t look for reasons to feel bad. Instead, control your environment as best you can. How?
1. Use transformational language.
What do you normally reply with when someone asks you, “how’s your day today?” Describe your day in a great way, using super positive words like “outstanding!” or “fantastic!” instead of “not so bad” or “terrible because….(insert drama story here!)”. Start using words, phrases and descriptions that make you feel good, and stop using the ones that make you feel bad.
2. Control what you can.
Start controlling what you can in your life that makes your experience of life feel good instead of bad. A great way to start doing this is to stop watching the news. Another way is to Stop listening to other people’s drama stories that make you feel bad. To do this, instead of asking others open-ended questions like “How was your day today?” or “How was work?” (the answer to which you’re likely to get a response like “not so bad” followed by a drama story) try these questions instead:
“What was great about your day today?”
“What are you happy about?”
“What are you grateful for today?”
“What’s exciting about your day today?”
And if you don’t feel like asking these questions is natural, and that it’s more natural to ask the open-ended questions, then here’s my answer to that: change it! Don’t say that it’s normal to feel bad, because you’re keeping yourself stuck feeling bad and you’re also helping others to keep feeling bad, because they get to describe the bad stuff, their pain and problems in life. Instead, ask questions that are going to get them to feel great, and get you to feel great.
Celebrate every little thing that happens in life. Kiss and hug the people that you love more. Don’t look for reasons to be upset or angry.
When the planes flew into the world trade centre, what did that teach us? 3000 people were killed that day and I feel for the people and their families affected by that event. It was an event that felt bad, right? When I asked myself “What’s great about this” the answer I came up with was that the event was a reminder that life is fragile. Life is temporary.
4. Look for reasons to be happy.
And look for reasons to be more loving. Look for reasons to feel more loved. Look for reasons to take care of yourself. Yes you can get cancer even if you don’t smoke cigarettes, but why push it? If a good friend of yours loaned you their nice car while they went away for a while, and they asked you to take care of if, would you make an attempt to give the car back in the same shape that they gave it to you in? Of course I knew you would.
Your body is your vehicle which the creator gave you to transport your soul through the experiences of life. When you’re asked for it back at the end of your adventure make sure it’s in the same shape, if not better, than the way it was given to you.
I hope this was of value to you and that you really get the message in this blog post because it’s a game changer. I’d love to hear how this has benefited you so leave a comment for me below.