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“My job isn’t to teach you content…
it’s to create real lasting change in your life!”
Kurek is more than just a professional speaker, he is renowned as “The Transformer” because of his astounding ability to help people transform their lives forever – their business, their dis-ease – whatever area of life is holding them back from achieving the dream results that they’re after. He is recognised as one of the world’s best Success Coaches and is a premier expert in personal and professional development, self-discovery, spiritual growth and peak performance. He is one of the most inspirational speakers on the planet. His #1 best- selling book How Would Love Respond? has transformed the lives of hundreds of thousands of people all over the world.
Kurek is the Creator and Founder of the Life Success Club that brings together a community of like-minded, positive, success-driven people from all over the world.
For over 30 years, Fortune 500 companies and major corporations around the world, such as Apple, Seagate, Schwarzkopf, Westin Hotels, The Australian Royal Airforce and Carlton United Brewery, have hired Kurek as a Corporate Speaker, Keynote Speaker and Conference Speaker to teach them tactical success strategies that have produced awe-inspiring results. His list of private clients include:
Hollywood film and TV stars, movie directors, producers and cinematographers, a quintuple platinum rock band, hit music composers, top business leaders, oil executives in Kuwait, Olympic Gold Medalists, professional athletes and sports teams, and the list goes on and on.
“Kurek you truly are the embodiment of the word Outstanding!”
– TONY ROBBINS
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Does this sound familiar? You set out on a path towards something new – a new goal or getting some new results in life, or maybe you want to stop doing something like quitting smoking or losing weight. And you start doing what you’re supposed to be doing for a while, but then you start tapering off until pretty soon you’re just not taking the new action anymore. And then it just becomes one more thing that doesn’t get done, or the change doesn’t happen. Have you ever had this experience?
I’ve worked on this so much for myself over the years, and it’s something I get asked about regularly from my private clients. And after they get through working on this one, the results are mind blowing! Even as their coach I am in awe as to what a human being can produce and what I get to witness.
So let’s say you start out with something and you’re going really well for a while, and then you start to taper off. You start going back to your old ways. Well, the old path that you used to be on has gravity, and each time you embark on the new path, the old path keeps pulling you back. Each time this happens with my private clients, as their coach I’m able to nudge them back onto the new path and hold them accountable to staying on the new journey so they never veer too far off the new path. After a while they get far enough away from the old way of doing things that the gravitation pull isn’t as strong as it used to be and pretty soon it’s easy to stay on the new journey. And the more you’re able to stay on track, on the new journey, that’s where the growth and massive achievements are.
The gravity is just old conditioned patterns and habits that we have. I call it gravity because it’s so ingrained in us that it keeps pulling us back to the old ways of being because that’s just our habit of doing that. So we have to establish the new way of being as our new operating system, as our new habit or group of habits, until pretty soon the new way is so habitual that it’s just who you are. And this is where success becomes easy because success is easy when you make it your habit.
Now, I exercise regularly and have for maybe 35 or more years. After being that consistent with exercise for that length of time, I don’t have to talk myself into it anymore or get myself pumped up to go do it anymore. It’s so habitual that I just go do it.
So imagine how easy it will be to produce dramatic new results in your life once you’re on track with taking consistent action towards those new results, and you’re in a place where it simply becomes your habit! There are three key steps that you’re going to need to avoid the gravity, the pull back to your old ways, as you embark on your new journey, and here they are:
- Become accountable.[vertical_spacing]It’s too easy to let yourself off the hook when you’re your own boss, and you’re the only person that you have to check in with. So how do we get ourselves to be held accountable and get nudged back on track? Get a coach. A real coach. Someone that holds you accountable, that’s not going to be your buddy. Someone that holds you to a higher standard who’s going to help you make the changes in your life that you desire. Even though I’m a coach, I too have coaches in different areas of my life that hold me accountable, and I’ve invested hundreds of thousands of dollars over the years to get people to not only teach me strategies to be better but hold me accountable to do it. This is the most valuable thing to look for in a coach – their ability to hold you accountable. If you think you’re going to do it yourself and hold yourself accountable, it’s all too easy to let yourself off the hook, and this isn’t going to help you get the new results you want.[vertical_spacing]
- Make public declarations.[vertical_spacing]Tell your new goals to people that will hold you accountable. For example from the stage at my speaking engagements, I let audiences know what my new goals are. And also I let my private clients know what my new goals are. So I get asked about my new goals all the time!
Let your circle of influence, that is the people you trust around you, know that you want to be held accountable on your new path. Remember though that when you give those people this permission, and they say something to you about your goals that you need to act on it instead of making excuses or justifying why you’re not doing it. Excuses and justification are below the line and you need to be operating above the line to achieve the results you’re after (see my ‘Get Over The Line’ blog). As Wayne Dyer used to say to me, “Kurek, if you want to keep your limitations in life, keep defending them.”
Some people will hold you accountable in different ways. If someone is telling you “you can’t do it” for example then feed off that to prove them wrong, using it to your advantage to keep working towards your goal. Others will be more supportive and congratulate you when you’re on track.
I wouldn’t be an international best-selling author with my book How would Love respond? if I hadn’t of made public declarations about wanting to achieve that. I thought the book would take me three or four months to produce, and well…it took me three or four years! I needed to be held accountable for that long amount of time otherwise there was so many opportunities to let go of the goal and slip back into the old ways. There would be no book if I didn’t have others helping me by holding me accountable.
- Use an Action Tracker.[vertical_spacing]Download the worksheet further below on this video blog page. It’s an Action Tracker, and it’s so easy to use. It’s even a key tool that I use with my private clients. In the rows on the left hand column of the table, write down the consistent actions that you want to take everyday e.g. read goals, excercise, etc. Then for each day of the month, give yourself an ‘X’ when you do the action, and a ‘0’ when you don’t do the action. Or whatever else you’d like to put in each box to denote whether or not you’ve taken the action.
Put your Action Tracker sheet in a place in your home or office where other people will see it like on the fridge or on the wall near your desk, so you can be held accountable with your actions. Remember that ‘0’ doesn’t mean failure; it just means that you didn’t take the action. The beauty of the Action Tracker sheet is that at the end of the month you can clearly see why you’re closer to achieving your goal, or why you’re not, according to how many ‘X’s’ or ‘0’s’ you have.
These three simple steps are going to help you not only to get on track but to stay on track consistently with whatever it is you’re working towards. This is going to be a game changer for you if you put these three steps into action, and it’s going to be mind blowing as to what results you’re going to produce!
Have you ever been in a situation when you feel like you’re stuck, and where you feel like you’re life isn’t advancing?
For example, perhaps you have a goal to lose some weight, but you can’t get the weight off and you feel stuck? Or there’s another area of your life – relationships, business, finances, etc. that you just feel stuck in?
It’s happened to me before and it feels unpleasant, right? Because if we’re not moving forwards in life, then by default we’re moving backwards. In life, nothing stays the same. And this sense of being stuck can become debilitating because the mind can easily start to think, “What’s the point of moving forward if I’m not producing the results that I want?” Yet this feeling gets us even more stuck. Have you ever been there?
So let’s talk about how to get unstuck and first that means understanding why you’re stuck in the first place. The thing that’s making you stuck is called your DRAMA GLUE. It’s the most common reason that people get stuck in life. And drama glue is produced by telling your disempowering stories.
Disempowering stories are whatever stories you’re telling that aren’t helping you move forward. The most common disempowering stories are the stories about things that have happened in the past in people’s life that don’t feel good – abuse, childhood trauma, past relationships, etc. It’s all the stuff that makes you feel bad whenever you tell it, and this is getting you stuck in your story.
Have you got a person in your life that no matter when or how long you’re around them, every time you talk to them all they want to do is dump their drama all over you? Pretty much everyone I know has someone like this in their life! And after you get done listening to that person you feel so disempowered that you feel the need to take a shower to wash all the drama glue off you!
It’s these people that tell these stories that produce the drama glue. They’re stuck in their story! And their lives don’t improve because they keep on telling their story. You see, the more times they tell the story, the brain replays it like a movie and they keep seeing it over and over again. This actually makes it a stronger and more powerful story to the brain, and unfortunately that power is of a disempowering nature and it keeps them in their story. And then there we are with them, stuck in their drama glue, listening their story!
So in order to get unstuck in life, we have to stop telling all our disempowering stories. Anytime you find yourself saying that “this” means “that”, it’s a story. And, there is no ‘life’ in life story; there’s only ‘story’. The life story isn’t even accurate; it’s just an edited interpretation of what you think happened. Now here’s where I get a lot of people saying, “But Kurek, you don’t understand my story. This really happened to me! You don’t understand!” Well, I do understand, and it’s just your story. The fact is that we all have an editing system and we remember the things we want to remember and we edit out the stuff we don’t want to remember.
Even if it is a story where, let’s say, everything is factual but it’s still making you feel bad, or keeping you stuck telling the story. You’ve got to stop telling it! It’s just holding you back. Every time you’re telling the story it’s just producing more and more drama glue and it’s keeping you stuck in the story.
It’s never to late to have a great childhood! There are so many stories out there about how bad people’s childhoods were. But why not tell the good stories from your the past? They’re the ones that are going to make you feel free and good, and you can build on those and you’ll move towards producing more things that make you feel good.
I’ll give you a personal example. Whenever I used to go back home to Chicago to visit my siblings, we’d go out and have a meal and the stories that we’d tell always went from stories of the past that were funny, to stories about stuff that went on in our childhood that wasn’t so great. So pretty soon you’d have a bunch of guys sitting around a table crying talking about their drama stories. One day I realized that I couldn’t do it anymore. I only want to remember the great things about my childhood – of which there are plenty. So I made the decision to only tell empowering stories about my childhood, and that’s what I’ve done from that point in.
You see in life, you get whatever you focus on. I only want to focus on the things that make me feel good. I don’t want to tell any stories about stuff that makes me feel bad. So when I go back to see my family now, we don’t tell the drama stories anymore and we end up having a great time, feel positive and actually look forward to seeing each other! Otherwise the brain connects seeing the person with feeling bad and you’ll resist talking to them after a while.
Anything that makes you feel bad stops you from moving forward. Why? Because the brain is making a neuro-connection each time you go to move forward in your life, and if each time you go to move forward you bring up pain, well the brain is going to associate moving ‘forward’ with ‘pain’ and you’re just going to keep self-sabotaging. Which just keeps creating more content for drama stories!
So we need to stop telling all of our disempowering stories to get unstuck. From this moment forward, MAKE THE DECISION to only tell stories that empower you. Tell only the stories that make you feel good and help you to keep moving forward. Stop producing the drama glue and make the decision NOW to stop telling all your disempowering stories.
How do you get yourself from not liking doing something, to enjoying doing it? And more than that how do then become great at it?
Think about how beneficial this could be to your life. There are so many things that we commonly don’t like doing, and that we probably put off because we don’t like doing them. Yet we usually have to get these things done anyway, so not doing them might be holding you back from producing some of the results that you want in life. Perhaps even holding you back from a Grand Dream Goal.
Here’s an example: about ten years ago I was building a website for my Life Success Club and the website ended up costing me around $140,000 from some shady characters who said they were going to build it for me. The website never worked right; I was being sold plug-ins as if these characters had developed them themselves for example. And I was so uneducated at this point about website building that I didn’t know any better, and I ended up paying a huge amount of money for something that never worked right.
Well, because of that experience I became educated and learnt how to build my own website plus grew in other areas like internet marketing. But when I first started on the website building and internet marketing journey by myself it was so intimidating and scary – there was a whole new language to learn for example! And because it was something that I didn’t know much about I avoided it for a long time, and well, as you know paid dearly for. Not just financially but also time and embarrassment from the ripple effect of the circumstance.
So what I did was I decided that I was going to learn how to build a website and how to do internet marketing myself. I decided I was going to learn about this new world because if you don’t learn this new stuff in life you become a dinosaur and extinct yourself! Why? Because the world’s evolving and you’re not. Now these areas of website building and internet marking that I needed to learn about might be different from the areas in your life that you need to learn about and that you may be avoiding because of how daunting it might seem.
So we’ve got to learn things in life that we might be uncomfortable with, that you probably don’t like doing but you’re going to have to do it anyways. Yet if you were great at it and were enjoying it a whole new world starts opening up to you. And by the way, if start enjoying what you once disliked doing, you’re going to then get great at it.
I study a style of martial arts called Aikido, and for years after you start you have to learn how to be uncomfortable with not being good at it, with being uncoordinated and not being proficient at it. But how do you keep yourself coming back? If you want to really succeed at it at it and achieve a black belt for example, how do you stick with it? Well, you have to learn to like your dislikes. You have to learn how to like being uncoordinated and not very good at it, and just keep showing up. And when you have an unprejudiced mindset whenever you show up, all of a sudden it starts improving, and it starts getting better and better, and soon you start developing skills in it. And then when you stay with it for long enough you become an expert at it!
So how do we get ourselves to like what we’re doing so that we can improve on it and actually get great at it? I know you’re going to love this. Here are the steps:
Get into action by celebrating in advance. See yourself succeeding with it, before you actually have. See the story play out in your mind that you’re producing your result and loving it. If you do it with enough passion and enthusiasm, the subconscious mind can’t tell the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined, and that’s just called being a visionary. You have to have that vision of the future; the vision of the outcome. And if you see yourself feeling good about it then you’re going to be able to just go and do it.
Every time that you take the action, even small and incremental actions, you have to celebrate. Celebrate while you’re doing it even. Sure you mightn’t be an expert at it yet but you’re doing it, and that’s worth celebrating! And you have to celebrate verbally and be really animated about it. If you’re only half-hearted about it the brain will link up pain, boredom etc. to doing it, and you’re not going to want to keep doing it. So you have to link up a perception of enjoyment to it and celebrate, celebrate, celebrate!
It’s funny how you can be so fast to criticize yourself for what you’re not doing, yet find it so hard to allow yourself to celebrate and pat yourself on the back for what you are doing. So instead of criticism, start acknowledging yourself for everything you’re doing approximately right. Every little increment that you’re doing, every little piece, celebrate and your brain is going to link up pleasure to doing the activity and you’re going to want to do more and more of it
After you’re completed and finished the activity for that moment, first celebrate THEN journal. If you want to get better at anything in life a key step is to journal. So get your pen out and ask yourself these three magic questions:
- What did I do great? And there’s no ‘buts’ in this question – the word ‘but’ erases everything that comes before the word ‘but’. When you find something great about what you did and you write it down, you’re more likely to remember it and then you’re going to want to do that same great thing again. When you find something great about what you just did it makes you feel good about what you just did. In life, whatever you focus on, that’s what you get. Focus on feeling great. And if you’re really struggling to find something great, you could even write: “I showed up today!” or “I actually did it!” Something this simple is at least acknowledging yourself for it. Leave all the criticism alone. Nobody expects you to be an expert the first time round. And next time you do the activity, repeat what you did great this time![vertical_spacing]
- How can I make this better? This is a strategy-eliciting question because whatever answers you get from this question are future strategies to make it better. So next time you do the activity add in the strategy.[vertical_spacing]
- By what percent did I improve by? How do you come up with the percentage? Just feel it and come up with something. You did the activity and you found an answer to “What did I do great?” so you’re going to have improved by something, even if it’s 1%. It might not sound like a lot, but imagine if the bank gave you 1% on your money at the end of each day? All of a sudden it starts to sound pretty good, right? And, every time you do this and improve, it’s a compounding effect. The next time you get a percentage improvement it’s from the higher place that you rated yourself from the last time.
Put this into action and what you can produce is mind blowing!
You’re going to love this story: one of the people that I’ve worked with, Olympic Beach Volleyball Gold Medalist Kerri Pottharst, well she was a bronze medalist when I first met her and her volleyball partner Natalie Cook. Kerri had the fastest serve in history when I met her, yet she was wild with it and it was all over the place so she didn’t have the confidence to bring out her super-powerful serve and she wasn’t using it much. So what I did was get Kerri to slow down and show me how to serve. Once she slowed down, I had her start to aim for the cones on the other side of the net, over and over again, nice and slow, and then had her journal the three questions we’ve already spoken about:
- What did I do great?
- How can I make this better?
- By what percentage did I improve by?
As we got going, day after day, week after week, we started adding just a little more power and a little more speed to her serve. Once Kerri got back up to full speed and power, well she’d developed this habit of improvement, this habit of acknowledging herself, this habit of education, and seeing those consistent growth percentages all of a sudden gave her certainty of her super-powerful serve and now she was unstoppable.
So when we were at the Sydney 2000 Olympics we went up against the best team in the world, the Brazilians, and Kerri was so focus that she broke the speed record for the fastest serve in Olympic history, five times in one Olympics. She was dropping aces anywhere she wanted to on the field. This was one of the secrets that helped the girls win the gold medal.
And that’s the power of this. Put these strategies into your life and you too will become golden.
I hope this was of value to you. I look forward to seeing your comments after this video – I read every one of them.
And if there’s any topics you want to hear about write them in the comments below!
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