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This may not be what you were expecting to read in one of my posts.
I’m here to tell you that bad things happen to good people.
For example, you may never have smoked a cigarette in your life, and you can still get lung cancer. And by the way, the person who smokes five packs a day may never get lung cancer!
The truth is, life can kick you hard. And even when you’re down, it can kick you again. And it’s not a karmic thing, or a cause and effect thing; sometimes it just happens.
So here’s my suggestion: any day that the world isn’t kicking you, don’t kick yourself. Don’t look for reasons to feel bad. Don’t look for justification for why you’re angry with somebody. Don’t look for reasons to be upset at life. In these moments, you’re wasting an opportunity for a happy life.
You see, life can be like dodging bullets. Think about this: there are so many things that could’ve taken you off the planet already. Your father could have worn a condom during conception for example! Your mum could’ve had an illness that killed you in the womb. Even childbirth itself could’ve taken you out.
Think of all the near misses that could’ve taken you off the planet. How many car accidents have you seen on freeways that could’ve happened five minutes before you got there. You could’ve been involved.
So here you are today, and you’ve woken up to another day of life…congratulations! Now, what are you going to do with it? Are you going to make it the best it can be?
If you make this moment right now excellent, and then start taping all the excellent moments together, well pretty soon you’ve got an excellent hour, an excellent day, an excellent week, an excellent month, an excellent year…and an excellent life. And it’s all comes down to you controlling, the best you, can your experience in each moment.
Remember, it’s not about what happens, it’s about what are you going to do with what happens. Don’t look for reasons to feel bad, otherwise you’re just going to keep attracting things to you to feel bad about.
You might know my story about when I was an actor filming with Chuck Norris in Delta Force 2 back in 1989, and while filming I was involved in a helicopter crash where five of my great friends died. I was initially on the helicopter and for some reason when the chopper was hovering about two feet above the ground near the edge of a mountaintop, I realized I wasn’t in the being filmed by the cameraman anymore and I was just out of the shot. When I asked the cameraman if this was the case, he confirmed I wasn’t and that I could step off the chopper if I wanted. So I chose to step off. The chopper took off over the edge of the mountain top as planned, then had a mechanical malfunction, crashed to the ground and next thing I knew five of my friends died.
All of those guys that died were great guys. One of them was my best friend Mike, and he died in my arms. Another guy’s son had just turned two years old only two days before the helicopter crash. He wasn’t even there to see his son on his birthday because he was filming. It happens. He was a great man, a great father, a great husband. Sometimes life can kick you hard.
So any day that life’s not handing you something like that, don’t kick yourself. Don’t look for reasons to feel bad. Instead, control your environment as best you can. How?
1. Use transformational language.
What do you normally reply with when someone asks you, “how’s your day today?” Describe your day in a great way, using super positive words like “outstanding!” or “fantastic!” instead of “not so bad” or “terrible because….(insert drama story here!)”. Start using words, phrases and descriptions that make you feel good, and stop using the ones that make you feel bad.
2. Control what you can.
Start controlling what you can in your life that makes your experience of life feel good instead of bad. A great way to start doing this is to stop watching the news. Another way is to Stop listening to other people’s drama stories that make you feel bad. To do this, instead of asking others open-ended questions like “How was your day today?” or “How was work?” (the answer to which you’re likely to get a response like “not so bad” followed by a drama story) try these questions instead:
“What was great about your day today?”
“What are you happy about?”
“What are you grateful for today?”
“What’s exciting about your day today?”
And if you don’t feel like asking these questions is natural, and that it’s more natural to ask the open-ended questions, then here’s my answer to that: change it! Don’t say that it’s normal to feel bad, because you’re keeping yourself stuck feeling bad and you’re also helping others to keep feeling bad, because they get to describe the bad stuff, their pain and problems in life. Instead, ask questions that are going to get them to feel great, and get you to feel great.
Celebrate every little thing that happens in life. Kiss and hug the people that you love more. Don’t look for reasons to be upset or angry.
When the planes flew into the world trade centre, what did that teach us? 3000 people were killed that day and I feel for the people and their families affected by that event. It was an event that felt bad, right? When I asked myself “What’s great about this” the answer I came up with was that the event was a reminder that life is fragile. Life is temporary.
4. Look for reasons to be happy.
And look for reasons to be more loving. Look for reasons to feel more loved. Look for reasons to take care of yourself. Yes you can get cancer even if you don’t smoke cigarettes, but why push it? If a good friend of yours loaned you their nice car while they went away for a while, and they asked you to take care of if, would you make an attempt to give the car back in the same shape that they gave it to you in? Of course I knew you would.
Your body is your vehicle which the creator gave you to transport your soul through the experiences of life. When you’re asked for it back at the end of your adventure make sure it’s in the same shape, if not better, than the way it was given to you.
I hope this was of value to you and that you really get the message in this blog post because it’s a game changer. I’d love to hear how this has benefited you so leave a comment for me below.
Let’s talk about investing. What is your biggest investment right now? And are you getting a big return on your investment?
And no, we’re not going to be talking about money here. That’s not your biggest investment. There’s something way more valuable than money that we’re talking about here whether you know it or not. So what is it?
You’re biggest investment is called your TIME, because no matter how much time you put in, you’re not going to get any time back. Your time is limited, and the clock’s ticking. I don’t know anyone that’s getting any younger, do you?
And like any other investment, wouldn’t you want the biggest returns on your investment? Yes! Well, I’m about to show you how. And the way to do it is so simple, yet profoundly powerful.
You see in life, you’re either evolving or dissolving; nothing stays the same. Most people in life are dissolving. Let’s take health and fitness for example: in most western civilizations most people are out of shape and overweight and it’s hitting epidemic proportions. Here in Australia a couple of years ago we had a 10-year old die of a heart attack from being obese. It’s crazy.
- 60% of all marriages are ending in divorce.
- Most people don’t have any goals, and on average only 3% of people write down their goals every year. If you don’t know where you’re going how are you supposed to get there?
- 97% of people who work 45 years of their life away (and those are the best and youthful years of your life, right?) end up broke at the end of the 45 years. Of the remaining 3%, 2% just survive on their retirement funds, and then 1% make it through being wealthy.
- What’s the most consumed drug on the planet? Anti-depressants. Why are so many people taking anti-depressants? This isn’t a trick question! It’s because they’re depressed, and they’re depressed because they’re overweight or out of shape, have broken relationships, don’t have any goals and dreams, and/or they’re broke.
The point of all this is, there’s a way to change that. Choose an area of your life: any area – relationship, health and fitness, finances, you choose. Now imagine a 1% growth in this area. 1% growth may not sound like a lot, but imagine if you got 1% interest from the bank on your money everyday. This becomes massive over time, especially when it’s compounding. Most people don’t go for the 1% because they don’t see the power in just a 1% growth.
Yet with just 1% growth, you’re on a new trajectory. You see, if you stayed on course with just a 1% improvement every day, well there’s massive growth and results in that. The challenge is that most people overestimate what they can do in the short term but underestimate what they can do in the long-term. And it’s in the long-term that we really produce those massive results.
An example of this is New Years Eve when people commonly set new years resolutions. Gyms love the beginning of the year because there’s such an influx in memberships because people have set resolutions to get in shape! But by February most people have dropped off attending the gym because they haven’t gotten the results yet that they were looking for, so they wind up quitting. They were probably hoping to lose weight but because muscle weighs 3 more times than fat does, the scales haven’t gone down so people get disheartened by this and they wind up quitting. Even though they might be feeling better from working out more.
If they had of used the CDI strategy, things are likely to have turned out different! What’s CDI? It’s the key to producing growth results:
C – consistent
D – daily
I – improvement
With CDI, you stay on track. You produce results that smash anything you’ve ever done before. And the way to put the CDI strategy into action is to ask yourself this question: How can I make this better?
This question is so simple that a lot of people don’t believe it can work, because it’s too easy, and so they don’t start trying. DON’T BE THIS PERSON. Shift your mindset NOW. I’m so passion about this because it’s a real tool that works. Put it into action, stay on track with it, and this is going to blow your mind and produce massive results in your life.
So every day start asking yourself: How can I make this better? This question creates consistent improvement. Whatever area it is you want to improve on, every day you need to be journaling answers to the following questions:
- What did I do great?
- How can I make this better?
- By what % did I improve?
Remember, you can apply the CDI strategy to any area of your life that you want – health and fitness, relationships, finances, business, any area. Imagine if you grew in any of those areas by a rate of 1% per year over the space of a year. That’s more than 365% growth in a year because of the compounding interest!
I hope this was of real value to you. It’s something that I even work with my private clients on. The CDI strategy: put it into action in your life and your life will dramatically change.
Does this sound familiar? You set out on a path towards something new – a new goal or getting some new results in life, or maybe you want to stop doing something like quitting smoking or losing weight. And you start doing what you’re supposed to be doing for a while, but then you start tapering off until pretty soon you’re just not taking the new action anymore. And then it just becomes one more thing that doesn’t get done, or the change doesn’t happen. Have you ever had this experience?
I’ve worked on this so much for myself over the years, and it’s something I get asked about regularly from my private clients. And after they get through working on this one, the results are mind blowing! Even as their coach I am in awe as to what a human being can produce and what I get to witness.
So let’s say you start out with something and you’re going really well for a while, and then you start to taper off. You start going back to your old ways. Well, the old path that you used to be on has gravity, and each time you embark on the new path, the old path keeps pulling you back. Each time this happens with my private clients, as their coach I’m able to nudge them back onto the new path and hold them accountable to staying on the new journey so they never veer too far off the new path. After a while they get far enough away from the old way of doing things that the gravitation pull isn’t as strong as it used to be and pretty soon it’s easy to stay on the new journey. And the more you’re able to stay on track, on the new journey, that’s where the growth and massive achievements are.
The gravity is just old conditioned patterns and habits that we have. I call it gravity because it’s so ingrained in us that it keeps pulling us back to the old ways of being because that’s just our habit of doing that. So we have to establish the new way of being as our new operating system, as our new habit or group of habits, until pretty soon the new way is so habitual that it’s just who you are. And this is where success becomes easy because success is easy when you make it your habit.
Now, I exercise regularly and have for maybe 35 or more years. After being that consistent with exercise for that length of time, I don’t have to talk myself into it anymore or get myself pumped up to go do it anymore. It’s so habitual that I just go do it.
So imagine how easy it will be to produce dramatic new results in your life once you’re on track with taking consistent action towards those new results, and you’re in a place where it simply becomes your habit! There are three key steps that you’re going to need to avoid the gravity, the pull back to your old ways, as you embark on your new journey, and here they are:
- Become accountable.[vertical_spacing]It’s too easy to let yourself off the hook when you’re your own boss, and you’re the only person that you have to check in with. So how do we get ourselves to be held accountable and get nudged back on track? Get a coach. A real coach. Someone that holds you accountable, that’s not going to be your buddy. Someone that holds you to a higher standard who’s going to help you make the changes in your life that you desire. Even though I’m a coach, I too have coaches in different areas of my life that hold me accountable, and I’ve invested hundreds of thousands of dollars over the years to get people to not only teach me strategies to be better but hold me accountable to do it. This is the most valuable thing to look for in a coach – their ability to hold you accountable. If you think you’re going to do it yourself and hold yourself accountable, it’s all too easy to let yourself off the hook, and this isn’t going to help you get the new results you want.[vertical_spacing]
- Make public declarations.[vertical_spacing]Tell your new goals to people that will hold you accountable. For example from the stage at my speaking engagements, I let audiences know what my new goals are. And also I let my private clients know what my new goals are. So I get asked about my new goals all the time!
Let your circle of influence, that is the people you trust around you, know that you want to be held accountable on your new path. Remember though that when you give those people this permission, and they say something to you about your goals that you need to act on it instead of making excuses or justifying why you’re not doing it. Excuses and justification are below the line and you need to be operating above the line to achieve the results you’re after (see my ‘Get Over The Line’ blog). As Wayne Dyer used to say to me, “Kurek, if you want to keep your limitations in life, keep defending them.”
Some people will hold you accountable in different ways. If someone is telling you “you can’t do it” for example then feed off that to prove them wrong, using it to your advantage to keep working towards your goal. Others will be more supportive and congratulate you when you’re on track.
I wouldn’t be an international best-selling author with my book How would Love respond? if I hadn’t of made public declarations about wanting to achieve that. I thought the book would take me three or four months to produce, and well…it took me three or four years! I needed to be held accountable for that long amount of time otherwise there was so many opportunities to let go of the goal and slip back into the old ways. There would be no book if I didn’t have others helping me by holding me accountable.
- Use an Action Tracker.[vertical_spacing]Download the worksheet further below on this video blog page. It’s an Action Tracker, and it’s so easy to use. It’s even a key tool that I use with my private clients. In the rows on the left hand column of the table, write down the consistent actions that you want to take everyday e.g. read goals, excercise, etc. Then for each day of the month, give yourself an ‘X’ when you do the action, and a ‘0’ when you don’t do the action. Or whatever else you’d like to put in each box to denote whether or not you’ve taken the action.
Put your Action Tracker sheet in a place in your home or office where other people will see it like on the fridge or on the wall near your desk, so you can be held accountable with your actions. Remember that ‘0’ doesn’t mean failure; it just means that you didn’t take the action. The beauty of the Action Tracker sheet is that at the end of the month you can clearly see why you’re closer to achieving your goal, or why you’re not, according to how many ‘X’s’ or ‘0’s’ you have.
These three simple steps are going to help you not only to get on track but to stay on track consistently with whatever it is you’re working towards. This is going to be a game changer for you if you put these three steps into action, and it’s going to be mind blowing as to what results you’re going to produce!
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