How to like your dislikes, and get great at doing them!

How do you get yourself from not liking doing something, to enjoying doing it? And more than that how do then become great at it?

Think about how beneficial this could be to your life. There are so many things that we commonly don’t like doing, and that we probably put off because we don’t like doing them. Yet we usually have to get these things done anyway, so not doing them might be holding you back from producing some of the results that you want in life. Perhaps even holding you back from a Grand Dream Goal.

Here’s an example: about ten years ago I was building a website for my Life Success Club and the website ended up costing me around $140,000 from some shady characters who said they were going to build it for me. The website never worked right; I was being sold plug-ins as if these characters had developed them themselves for example. And I was so uneducated at this point about website building that I didn’t know any better, and I ended up paying a huge amount of money for something that never worked right.

Well, because of that experience I became educated and learnt how to build my own website plus grew in other areas like internet marketing. But when I first started on the website building and internet marketing journey by myself it was so intimidating and scary – there was a whole new language to learn for example! And because it was something that I didn’t know much about I avoided it for a long time, and well, as you know paid dearly for. Not just financially but also time and embarrassment from the ripple effect of the circumstance.

So what I did was I decided that I was going to learn how to build a website and how to do internet marketing myself. I decided I was going to learn about this new world because if you don’t learn this new stuff in life you become a dinosaur and extinct yourself! Why? Because the world’s evolving and you’re not. Now these areas of website building and internet marking that I needed to learn about might be different from the areas in your life that you need to learn about and that you may be avoiding because of how daunting it might seem.

So we’ve got to learn things in life that we might be uncomfortable with, that you probably don’t like doing but you’re going to have to do it anyways. Yet if you were great at it and were enjoying it a whole new world starts opening up to you. And by the way, if start enjoying what you once disliked doing, you’re going to then get great at it.

I study a style of martial arts called Aikido, and for years after you start you have to learn how to be uncomfortable with not being good at it, with being uncoordinated and not being proficient at it. But how do you keep yourself coming back? If you want to really succeed at it at it and achieve a black belt for example, how do you stick with it? Well, you have to learn to like your dislikes. You have to learn how to like being uncoordinated and not very good at it, and just keep showing up. And when you have an unprejudiced mindset whenever you show up, all of a sudden it starts improving, and it starts getting better and better, and soon you start developing skills in it. And then when you stay with it for long enough you become an expert at it!

So how do we get ourselves to like what we’re doing so that we can improve on it and actually get great at it? I know you’re going to love this. Here are the steps:

CELEBRATE!

Get into action by celebrating in advance. See yourself succeeding with it, before you actually have. See the story play out in your mind that you’re producing your result and loving it. If you do it with enough passion and enthusiasm, the subconscious mind can’t tell the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined, and that’s just called being a visionary. You have to have that vision of the future; the vision of the outcome. And if you see yourself feeling good about it then you’re going to be able to just go and do it.

Every time that you take the action, even small and incremental actions, you have to celebrate. Celebrate while you’re doing it even. Sure you mightn’t be an expert at it yet but you’re doing it, and that’s worth celebrating! And you have to celebrate verbally and be really animated about it. If you’re only half-hearted about it the brain will link up pain, boredom etc. to doing it, and you’re not going to want to keep doing it. So you have to link up a perception of enjoyment to it and celebrate, celebrate, celebrate!

It’s funny how you can be so fast to criticize yourself for what you’re not doing, yet find it so hard to allow yourself to celebrate and pat yourself on the back for what you are doing. So instead of criticism, start acknowledging yourself for everything you’re doing approximately right. Every little increment that you’re doing, every little piece, celebrate and your brain is going to link up pleasure to doing the activity and you’re going to want to do more and more of it

JOURNAL

After you’re completed and finished the activity for that moment, first celebrate THEN journal. If you want to get better at anything in life a key step is to journal. So get your pen out and ask yourself these three magic questions:

  1. What did I do great? And there’s no ‘buts’ in this question – the word ‘but’ erases everything that comes before the word ‘but’. When you find something great about what you did and you write it down, you’re more likely to remember it and then you’re going to want to do that same great thing again. When you find something great about what you just did it makes you feel good about what you just did. In life, whatever you focus on, that’s what you get. Focus on feeling great. And if you’re really struggling to find something great, you could even write: “I showed up today!” or “I actually did it!” Something this simple is at least acknowledging yourself for it. Leave all the criticism alone. Nobody expects you to be an expert the first time round. And next time you do the activity, repeat what you did great this time!
  2. How can I make this better? This is a strategy-eliciting question because whatever answers you get from this question are future strategies to make it better. So next time you do the activity add in the strategy. 
  3. By what percent did I improve by? How do you come up with the percentage? Just feel it and come up with something. You did the activity and you found an answer to “What did I do great?” so you’re going to have improved by something, even if it’s 1%. It might not sound like a lot, but imagine if the bank gave you 1% on your money at the end of each day? All of a sudden it starts to sound pretty good, right? And, every time you do this and improve, it’s a compounding effect. The next time you get a percentage improvement it’s from the higher place that you rated yourself from the last time.

Put this into action and what you can produce is mind blowing!

You’re going to love this story: one of the people that I’ve worked with, Olympic Beach Volleyball Gold Medalist Kerri Pottharst, well she was a bronze medalist when I first met her and her volleyball partner Natalie Cook. Kerri had the fastest serve in history when I met her, yet she was wild with it and it was all over the place so she didn’t have the confidence to bring out her super-powerful serve and she wasn’t using it much. So what I did was get Kerri to slow down and show me how to serve. Once she slowed down, I had her start to aim for the cones on the other side of the net, over and over again, nice and slow, and then had her journal the three questions we’ve already spoken about:

  1. What did I do great?
  2. How can I make this better?
  3. By what percentage did I improve by?

As we got going, day after day, week after week, we started adding just a little more power and a little more speed to her serve. Once Kerri got back up to full speed and power, well she’d developed this habit of improvement, this habit of acknowledging herself, this habit of education, and seeing those consistent growth percentages all of a sudden gave her certainty of her super-powerful serve and now she was unstoppable.

So when we were at the Sydney 2000 Olympics we went up against the best team in the world, the Brazilians, and Kerri was so focus that she broke the speed record for the fastest serve in Olympic history, five times in one Olympics. She was dropping aces anywhere she wanted to on the field. This was one of the secrets that helped the girls win the gold medal.

And that’s the power of this. Put these strategies into your life and you too will become golden.

I hope this was of value to you. I look forward to seeing your comments after this video – I read every one of them.

And if there’s any topics you want to hear about write them in the comments below!

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