Have you ever been in a situation when you feel like you’re stuck, and where you feel like you’re life isn’t advancing?
For example, perhaps you have a goal to lose some weight, but you can’t get the weight off and you feel stuck? Or there’s another area of your life – relationships, business, finances, etc. that you just feel stuck in?
It’s happened to me before and it feels unpleasant, right? Because if we’re not moving forwards in life, then by default we’re moving backwards. In life, nothing stays the same. And this sense of being stuck can become debilitating because the mind can easily start to think, “What’s the point of moving forward if I’m not producing the results that I want?” Yet this feeling gets us even more stuck. Have you ever been there?
So let’s talk about how to get unstuck and first that means understanding why you’re stuck in the first place. The thing that’s making you stuck is called your DRAMA GLUE. It’s the most common reason that people get stuck in life. And drama glue is produced by telling your disempowering stories.
Disempowering stories are whatever stories you’re telling that aren’t helping you move forward. The most common disempowering stories are the stories about things that have happened in the past in people’s life that don’t feel good – abuse, childhood trauma, past relationships, etc. It’s all the stuff that makes you feel bad whenever you tell it, and this is getting you stuck in your story.
Have you got a person in your life that no matter when or how long you’re around them, every time you talk to them all they want to do is dump their drama all over you? Pretty much everyone I know has someone like this in their life! And after you get done listening to that person you feel so disempowered that you feel the need to take a shower to wash all the drama glue off you!
It’s these people that tell these stories that produce the drama glue. They’re stuck in their story! And their lives don’t improve because they keep on telling their story. You see, the more times they tell the story, the brain replays it like a movie and they keep seeing it over and over again. This actually makes it a stronger and more powerful story to the brain, and unfortunately that power is of a disempowering nature and it keeps them in their story. And then there we are with them, stuck in their drama glue, listening their story!
So in order to get unstuck in life, we have to stop telling all our disempowering stories. Anytime you find yourself saying that “this” means “that”, it’s a story. And, there is no ‘life’ in life story; there’s only ‘story’. The life story isn’t even accurate; it’s just an edited interpretation of what you think happened. Now here’s where I get a lot of people saying, “But Kurek, you don’t understand my story. This really happened to me! You don’t understand!” Well, I do understand, and it’s just your story. The fact is that we all have an editing system and we remember the things we want to remember and we edit out the stuff we don’t want to remember.
Even if it is a story where, let’s say, everything is factual but it’s still making you feel bad, or keeping you stuck telling the story. You’ve got to stop telling it! It’s just holding you back. Every time you’re telling the story it’s just producing more and more drama glue and it’s keeping you stuck in the story.
It’s never to late to have a great childhood! There are so many stories out there about how bad people’s childhoods were. But why not tell the good stories from your the past? They’re the ones that are going to make you feel free and good, and you can build on those and you’ll move towards producing more things that make you feel good.
I’ll give you a personal example. Whenever I used to go back home to Chicago to visit my siblings, we’d go out and have a meal and the stories that we’d tell always went from stories of the past that were funny, to stories about stuff that went on in our childhood that wasn’t so great. So pretty soon you’d have a bunch of guys sitting around a table crying talking about their drama stories. One day I realized that I couldn’t do it anymore. I only want to remember the great things about my childhood – of which there are plenty. So I made the decision to only tell empowering stories about my childhood, and that’s what I’ve done from that point in.
You see in life, you get whatever you focus on. I only want to focus on the things that make me feel good. I don’t want to tell any stories about stuff that makes me feel bad. So when I go back to see my family now, we don’t tell the drama stories anymore and we end up having a great time, feel positive and actually look forward to seeing each other! Otherwise the brain connects seeing the person with feeling bad and you’ll resist talking to them after a while.
Anything that makes you feel bad stops you from moving forward. Why? Because the brain is making a neuro-connection each time you go to move forward in your life, and if each time you go to move forward you bring up pain, well the brain is going to associate moving ‘forward’ with ‘pain’ and you’re just going to keep self-sabotaging. Which just keeps creating more content for drama stories!
So we need to stop telling all of our disempowering stories to get unstuck. From this moment forward, MAKE THE DECISION to only tell stories that empower you. Tell only the stories that make you feel good and help you to keep moving forward. Stop producing the drama glue and make the decision NOW to stop telling all your disempowering stories.