Does this sound familiar? You set out on a path towards something new – a new goal or getting some new results in life, or maybe you want to stop doing something like quitting smoking or losing weight. And you start doing what you’re supposed to be doing for a while, but then you start tapering off until pretty soon you’re just not taking the new action anymore. And then it just becomes one more thing that doesn’t get done, or the change doesn’t happen. Have you ever had this experience?
I’ve worked on this so much for myself over the years, and it’s something I get asked about regularly from my private clients. And after they get through working on this one, the results are mind blowing! Even as their coach I am in awe as to what a human being can produce and what I get to witness.
So let’s say you start out with something and you’re going really well for a while, and then you start to taper off. You start going back to your old ways. Well, the old path that you used to be on has gravity, and each time you embark on the new path, the old path keeps pulling you back. Each time this happens with my private clients, as their coach I’m able to nudge them back onto the new path and hold them accountable to staying on the new journey so they never veer too far off the new path. After a while they get far enough away from the old way of doing things that the gravitation pull isn’t as strong as it used to be and pretty soon it’s easy to stay on the new journey. And the more you’re able to stay on track, on the new journey, that’s where the growth and massive achievements are.
The gravity is just old conditioned patterns and habits that we have. I call it gravity because it’s so ingrained in us that it keeps pulling us back to the old ways of being because that’s just our habit of doing that. So we have to establish the new way of being as our new operating system, as our new habit or group of habits, until pretty soon the new way is so habitual that it’s just who you are. And this is where success becomes easy because success is easy when you make it your habit.
Now, I exercise regularly and have for maybe 35 or more years. After being that consistent with exercise for that length of time, I don’t have to talk myself into it anymore or get myself pumped up to go do it anymore. It’s so habitual that I just go do it.
So imagine how easy it will be to produce dramatic new results in your life once you’re on track with taking consistent action towards those new results, and you’re in a place where it simply becomes your habit! There are three key steps that you’re going to need to avoid the gravity, the pull back to your old ways, as you embark on your new journey, and here they are:
- Become accountable.[vertical_spacing]It’s too easy to let yourself off the hook when you’re your own boss, and you’re the only person that you have to check in with. So how do we get ourselves to be held accountable and get nudged back on track? Get a coach. A real coach. Someone that holds you accountable, that’s not going to be your buddy. Someone that holds you to a higher standard who’s going to help you make the changes in your life that you desire. Even though I’m a coach, I too have coaches in different areas of my life that hold me accountable, and I’ve invested hundreds of thousands of dollars over the years to get people to not only teach me strategies to be better but hold me accountable to do it. This is the most valuable thing to look for in a coach – their ability to hold you accountable. If you think you’re going to do it yourself and hold yourself accountable, it’s all too easy to let yourself off the hook, and this isn’t going to help you get the new results you want.[vertical_spacing]
- Make public declarations.[vertical_spacing]Tell your new goals to people that will hold you accountable. For example from the stage at my speaking engagements, I let audiences know what my new goals are. And also I let my private clients know what my new goals are. So I get asked about my new goals all the time!
Let your circle of influence, that is the people you trust around you, know that you want to be held accountable on your new path. Remember though that when you give those people this permission, and they say something to you about your goals that you need to act on it instead of making excuses or justifying why you’re not doing it. Excuses and justification are below the line and you need to be operating above the line to achieve the results you’re after (see my ‘Get Over The Line’ blog). As Wayne Dyer used to say to me, “Kurek, if you want to keep your limitations in life, keep defending them.”
Some people will hold you accountable in different ways. If someone is telling you “you can’t do it” for example then feed off that to prove them wrong, using it to your advantage to keep working towards your goal. Others will be more supportive and congratulate you when you’re on track.
I wouldn’t be an international best-selling author with my book How would Love respond? if I hadn’t of made public declarations about wanting to achieve that. I thought the book would take me three or four months to produce, and well…it took me three or four years! I needed to be held accountable for that long amount of time otherwise there was so many opportunities to let go of the goal and slip back into the old ways. There would be no book if I didn’t have others helping me by holding me accountable.
- Use an Action Tracker.[vertical_spacing]Download the worksheet further below on this video blog page. It’s an Action Tracker, and it’s so easy to use. It’s even a key tool that I use with my private clients. In the rows on the left hand column of the table, write down the consistent actions that you want to take everyday e.g. read goals, excercise, etc. Then for each day of the month, give yourself an ‘X’ when you do the action, and a ‘0’ when you don’t do the action. Or whatever else you’d like to put in each box to denote whether or not you’ve taken the action.
Put your Action Tracker sheet in a place in your home or office where other people will see it like on the fridge or on the wall near your desk, so you can be held accountable with your actions. Remember that ‘0’ doesn’t mean failure; it just means that you didn’t take the action. The beauty of the Action Tracker sheet is that at the end of the month you can clearly see why you’re closer to achieving your goal, or why you’re not, according to how many ‘X’s’ or ‘0’s’ you have.
These three simple steps are going to help you not only to get on track but to stay on track consistently with whatever it is you’re working towards. This is going to be a game changer for you if you put these three steps into action, and it’s going to be mind blowing as to what results you’re going to produce!